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Look, we need to have a serious talk about the Xenomorph. It’s been decades of acid blood, face-huggers, and space truckers just trying to catch a break. Some of these films are basically religious experiences, while others… well, let’s just say they’re better left in the vacuum of space. I’ve seen them all, I’ve suffered through the bad ones, and I’m here to set the record straight on how they actually rank.
1. Alien vs. Predator: Requiem — The ‘I Can’t See Anything’ Disaster
Honestly, whoever decided to film this entire movie in pitch blackness needs to apologize to my eyeballs. It’s a blurry, confusing mess. I don’t care how many cool kills you think you have—if I can’t see the monster, it’s not scary, it’s just annoying. It holds a 12% on Rotten Tomatoes for a reason. It’s the basement of the franchise, no cap. Let’s move on before I get a headache just thinking about it.
2. Alien: Resurrection — The Weird Science Experiment Gone Wrong
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Okay, so Joss Whedon wrote this, and you can totally feel the ‘edgy’ 90s vibes radiating off it. It’s weird. Like, really weird. The Newborn creature? A total jump scare for all the wrong reasons. Sigourney Weaver is trying her best, but the tone is all over the place. It’s basically a fever dream that didn’t quite land. Not the worst, but definitely not one I’m rewatching on a Friday night.
3. Alien 3 — The One That Broke Our Hearts
This one is controversial, I know. David Fincher’s debut was a nightmare behind the scenes, and you can tell. Killing off Newt and Hicks in the opening credits? Rude. My heart still hurts. It’s gritty, it’s depressing, and it’s visually striking, but it feels like a slap in the face to everything we loved about the previous film. It’s a mood, sure, but a very sad one.
4. AVP: Alien vs. Predator — The Guilty Pleasure We All Secretly Like
Look, I’ll be honest—I didn’t expect to love this as much as I did. Is it high art? Absolutely not. But seeing those two icons fight in a pyramid under Antarctica? It’s pure, unadulterated fun. It’s the cinematic equivalent of playing with your action figures in the backyard. It’s not trying to be deep, it’s just trying to be a blast. And honestly? It succeeds at that.
5. Prometheus — The ‘Pretty But Confusing’ Prequel
This movie is gorgeous. Like, ‘I want to live in this spaceship’ gorgeous. But the plot? The characters making the absolute worst decisions in the history of space travel? It drives me up a wall. You’re scientists! Why are you touching the weird alien goo?! It’s a fascinating, big-budget swing that lands somewhere between genius and total frustration. Still, Michael Fassbender as David? Iconic.
6. Alien: Covenant — The ‘Oops, Everyone is Dead’ Sequel
Covenant is mean. Like, really mean. It doubles down on the sci-fi horror aspects and gives us even more of David’s megalomania. It’s brutal, slick, and honestly, the flute-playing scene is a weirdly compelling moment that nobody talks about enough. It’s a solid entry that bridges the gap between the philosophical stuff and the ‘let’s run from the monster’ stuff. It’s a good time if you like your sci-fi with a side of existential dread.
7. Alien: Romulus — The New Kid on the Block
This one just dropped in 2024 and it honestly surprised me. It goes back to the roots—claustrophobic, scary, and high stakes. It feels like a love letter to the first two films without just being a cheap copy-paste. The practical effects are giving us everything we wanted and more. It’s easily the best thing to happen to the franchise in years. If you haven’t seen it, stop reading this and go watch it immediately.
8. Aliens — The Greatest Action Movie Ever Made
James Cameron walked into this and said, ‘Let’s make it a war movie.’ And boy, did he deliver. ‘Game over, man!’ is forever burned into our brains. Ripley going full-on mama bear with the power loader? Iconic. It’s the perfect sequel. It’s fast, it’s loud, and it’s got so much heart. It’s basically flawless, and I will die on this hill. It’s the gold standard for how to do a franchise sequel.
9. Alien — The One That Started It All
There is nothing, and I mean nothing, like the original 1979 masterpiece. Ridley Scott created a haunted house movie in space, and it still holds up perfectly today. The pacing, the tension, the sheer terror of the unknown—it’s perfect. It’s not just a ‘monster movie,’ it’s a masterclass in atmosphere. If you don’t get chills during the chest-burster scene, check your pulse. It’s the GOAT, no contest.
FAQs
Which Alien movie should I start with?
Definitely start with the original 1979 Alien. It sets the tone for the entire franchise and remains a perfect piece of horror cinema. You can’t appreciate the sequels without seeing where it all began.
Are the Alien vs. Predator movies canon?
Technically, they are considered their own separate timeline. Most fans treat them as a fun side-quest rather than part of the main Xenomorph storyline involving Ripley and the Weyland-Yutani corporation. Don’t stress the lore too much!
Is Alien: Romulus worth watching?
Yes, absolutely! It’s a fantastic return to the franchise’s roots. It manages to be genuinely terrifying while feeling like a modern blockbuster. It’s arguably the best Alien film we’ve had since the 80s.
So, there you have it—the definitive ranking of the Alien franchise. Whether you’re a die-hard fan or just looking for a space-themed scare, there’s something here for everyone (except maybe Requiem). Do you agree with my top pick, or am I totally wrong? Drop a comment and tell me which one is your personal favorite. Let’s argue in the comments!
